5 More Powerful Habits To Create More Connection With Your Children

Okay! Here are 5 More Powerful Habits To Create More Connection With Your Children

As parents, our goal is to create a strong bond with our kids that spans their lifetime.

The parent-child relationship is one of the most important relationships children will ever experience.

If they trust you, that strong connection they have with you as the parent will help them through some of the hardest things they will have to face in life.

Sadly young people are so very disconnected from their parents these days… I hear from a lot of moms how much they wish their children wanted to do things with them as a family and how they just can’t seem to figure out how to get to know their child on a deeper level…

Well, let me tell you… These habits may not fix it all but, the good news is, I promise you these ideas are an easy way to get on the right track!

So without further ado…

#1 Create A Seasonal Bucket List

There is nothing that gets their full attention like sitting down to create a family bucket list!!

It’s a great way to get the whole family involved in working to create memories that the entire family could enjoy. And it is a great way to create lifelong memories.

The older kids and the younger kids LOVE when we do this.

Creating a seasonal family bucket list is a fun way to learn your children’s interests… We have learned a lot about our kids’ “ideas of fun” through this.

Honestly, the deeper connections we create through each activity we do together as a family is one of my very favorite things as a parent.

How Many Activities Should Be On The Bucket List?

This is a great question! We try to create enough activities on the bucket list, to have at least one per week however, sometimes our busy schedules get in the way and we have a hard time checking off of our bucket list on those weeks.

If you have read my previous post, “3 POWERFUL HABITS TO CREATE MORE CONNECTION WITH YOUR CHILDREN” you will see this is why we have weekly appointments that don’t ever change.

It’s so at end of the day, our children still always know they will be connecting with us during family night, tea time, date nights, and especially for family meals!

The most important thing about bucket lists is this…

It helps us as parents make a conscious effort to set something up with our kids and helps us to really start seeing our child’s interests in a way we couldn’t if we just walked up and asked them what they are interested in.

Do The Bucket List Activities Have To Cost Money?

Absolutely NOT!

In fact, we actually play a game to see how many activities we could do either for FREE, or for $10 or less! We mostly shoot for free though.

It is interesting to me, the free activities are a lot of fun because we have to get very creative sometimes for how to make it a special time, and more times than not those free ones are WAY more fun than if we went and paid for an experience.

I do recommend if you could afford it, to add one or maybe two paid ones in there in the 12 weeks for each season that you have to work with.

Make sure to give your undivided attention during these times.

If you commit to doing something with your kids, put all your devices down. It won’t be long before they are no longer needing you or your time the same way they need it right now. Cherish every moment you can today with them.

Fall Bucket Lists Ideas

• Do a fall picnic
• Family bike ride to see the fall colors
• Sleepover in the family: Can get messy but, who cares!
• Hang by the river to fish
• Make pumpkin spice doughnuts together and eat them while sipping on apple cider
• Eat dinner on a blanket on the kitchen floor, don’t ask me why this is awesome, but it is!
• Play board games: Your kids are guaranteed to have a favorite one.

These are just a few ways of making more meaningful connections with your kids based on their interests making this list will give you a lot of insight into their minds.

#2 Take Them Shopping

Who doesn’t love to go to the grocery store with mom? This is really great for doing some one-on-one time with your kids. They love the quality time they get to have with you.

It usually takes me a few hours to go through all my errands, so in my mind, it is the perfect opportunity to spend little time with them as individuals along with what you are already doing at home.

How we work the rotation…

So with 6 kids, we ended up just rotating every single week. Whichever one is my shopping buddy, that is their tea time for that week as well, I usually try to grab a cup of coffee and tea and we sit and drink it together as we hang out.

This is a great opportunity, especially if you have an older child to be able to just converse and hear their heart, away from any responsibilities either of you has in the home.

Just like teatimes, they protect not only their own but each other’s shopping times. I love this because they value it, they value it because we as parents value the time with them.

#3 Make Sure Your Words And Actions Match

The way you talk about your child is a big deal.

• What do they hear you say about them?
• Do you enjoy your child’s company, like, truly? Just like us they can sense someone doesn’t really want to be around them. 
• When you have an issue that needs to be dealt with, do you go back and resolve it not leaving it open-ended? I love this quote and take it to heart as I work through the struggles we have… “It is easier to build strong children than to repair broken men” (Frederick Douglass, 1817-1895)

Do your words build up or tear down?

• We want strong relationships with our children… You give your children a sense of security or lack thereof by the way you speak of them.
• Does this mean you won’t ever have to firmly correct them? Absolutely not! But, how often do you sit around with your “mom friends” exposing your children’s weaknesses and they overhear it??
• I personally have found that almost every issue can be worked through if you are just willing to fully hear their heart out.
• There have been weeks, when one of my kids are struggling for a few days, it is then, I either grab a cup of coffee and sit with them or go for a walk. A lot of times, when they are struggling consistently, it’s because they need a friend at that moment.
• Does that “friendship” mean they manipulate my decisions? No, but it does allow them to open up about things that could have built up that are affecting every other situation.
• It allows me to hear their point of view, to give them words of affirmation for where I lacked doing so when it could have been needed.
• Building healthy relationships is so important if we truly want to be connected with our kids on a deeper level.

More often than not those relationships start budding stronger when we spend as much time as we can playing their favorite games and investing time in those fun activities that they enjoy so much.

If your child knows you care about their interests like, truly care… They will want to care about your opinions and feelings when it comes to the deep conversations.

#4 Are You Quick To Apologize?

I can’t tell you how many times, I have sat at the end of one of my children’s beds to apologize for something I said out of line, or a way I made them feel.

• Even if you are right in a situation, you as a parent know when you have maybe said something you should not have. Honestly, I get emotional even saying this, but children are the most forgiving humans around.
• Being willing to admit when you are wrong may be the most powerful tool that a parent can use when trying to create strong connections with their child. If you are wrong admit it and apologize! That is what we teach our children right?
• If it’s within your power, try your best to never leave a disagreement unresolved… To me, it doesn’t matter if I have to drop everything and ignore everyone…
• If I could tell one of my kids is hurting or struggling or feels like something is unresolved, I will do my absolute best to sit down and listen to them.
• If I can’t get to it right that moment, I make sure to tell them a certain time of the day that we WILL make it happen. 

And for the record, it is okay if you know you are going to respond in a way you shouldn’t, to tell your children that you both need to take some time to think on it and then come back when you both have had time to really process the situation. Actually, if I could be so bold as to say this is the best way to deal with harder situations. 

Again though, make sure you don’t leave it unresolved for very long. 

#5 Create The Habit That You Continually Realize “You GET To”

• You get to take care of your children.
• You get to be their parent
• You get to help them deal with the big emotions!
• You get to be their person until they grow up and spread their wings to fly!
• You get to hold them when they need a shoulder to cry on.
• You get to be their safe person.
• You get to be their parent!! Is that not amazing? 

The things you tell yourself about your children, make a BIG difference in how they respond to you! 

What About The Toddler Years?

Oh those toddler years, are some of the busiest for sure! However, this is the best time to start building those strong connections and habits.

Give yourself LOTS of grace here, you won’t have everything perfect. More times than not motherhood and parenthood, in general, are going to look messy especially during the little years… However, if we could just understand that the days are long and the years are short, it brings such a perspective that makes us yearn to make the most of every single day we have with our children. 

It is just So important that if you have the opportunity to start creating daily habits of connection with your children, the younger the better.

Give Yourself Grace

What works in my home and family life, may not work for your family. That is the beauty of life, you get to create around your schedule, around what works for your family! 

If you have made it all the way to the end of this “5 More Powerful Habits To Create More Connection With Your Children” post… This tells me you are already a great parent. You are probably always seeking to love and care for those in your care, better than you did the day before. 

That being said, you may enjoy reading the first post, to inspire you even more.

“3 Powerful Habits To Create More Connection With Your Children”

With that, I truly hope this post does just that, inspires you as you continue to take care of those people that have been entrusted to you during this life!

Don’t forget to grab my FREE PDF “Fall Family Bucket List Printable” when you subscribe to deamark23.com! Along with my FREE 5 Skillet Meal Whole Food Recipe ebook!

You got this!

Only one life to offer,

~Andrea